No Pictures But A Lot of Words

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My two "olders" and I were alone tonight and I was feeling a bit lonely without Awesome Husby around. Noah was busy playing games on the computer, Marilyn was puttering around doing not much of anything and I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I had an awesome idea that changed our whole night. I don't have any pictures of it to add to this post but I want to create one with my words so that years from now I will remember how sweet it was. 

We've just gotten back into our school routine and that means I'm reading a novel to them aloud in the mornings while they eat their breakfast. Max tolerates this but my older two - they LOVE it. So do I. 

We're reading Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites, which came out when I was 12 and solidly into my Christian only music phase of life so of course I adored that book. My "olders" are enthralled with it too. So tonight when I got lonely and didn't want to put them to bed I made them makeshift beds on the living room floor, turned on our lamp for some ambiance, and I read to them for almost 2 hours. They didn't want me to stop so I just kept going. Until I my voice just couldn't take it anymore and then we went out for ice cream.

Reading is so multifaceted. It's so interactive rather than television's passive. Don't get me wrong; I love a little passive TV binging at the end of the day when I am D.O.N.E. but there is nothing in this world that delights me in the way an author does with their carefully crafted words. Sharing that with my "littles" fulfills and thrills me. Reading aloud to my children brings us all into the story's trance, as if all of our imaginations are magically linked together and we're all seeing the same thing even though there are no pictures. We're not just sitting next to each other. Even from different parts of the room, or even different rooms as it is when I read in the morning when I sit on the stairs so Noah can hear from his bed, Max can hear from his room, and Marilyn can hear from the breakfast table, we are all interacting together. My children love to tell me what they think will happen next or what a certain part makes them think of or wish for. I love to ask them questions to make sure they understand what's happening or, even better, help them think through a social situation they may or may not have faced before. 

This morning a few of the main character's friends were bullying another boy and I stopped to talk with my kids about that. Noah has had a hard time at school and has sometimes been on both sides of the bully situation. Without any prompting and in a way that we haven't ever specifically talked about Noah said about the characters that were bullying, "Maybe they aren't bad kids. Maybe they are just a bunch of kids that feel like they get made fun of a lot." He identified. It made my heart sad but it also opened the door for us to talk in a meaningful way that he will connect with on a deeper level about not fitting in and about bullying.

I LOVE literature. I need it. I appreciate it. I admire it.

And I'm so very grateful to be able to pass that love on to my children. 

Tonight was a very good night.

My Morning's Mental Meanderings

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Last night after my children went to bed I celebrated my freedom and then almost cried. I was busy wiping their dirty hand prints off the walls and I realized that I'm half way through the work I longed and worked for years to have the privilege of doing. These children of mine are halfway raised. Ugh!

Ok. Now I'm not crying, I'm bawling.

There is nothing more in my life I'd rather do than mother. Sometimes I get so exasperated. Sometimes I get so worried. Sometimes I'll admit that I count down the years until they leave my house and are grown but most of the time I really, really love being a mother and all of the time I cherish my opportunity to spend my life serving these little ones. How they fill my heart!

Last night I tucked Noah into bed and he was so very tired that it was all he could do to barely open his lids to check I was there while he snuggled into his blankets. He asked for "fifty kisses", a sweet Noah-made tradition where we gently kiss his cheeks 50 times because one time isn't enough for my affection gobbling son. After the 50 he lifted his heavy eyelids and contentedly asked for "Just 15 more?" and when I told him I would he said with earnest endearment, "I love my Mommy."

My dear Noah, my sweetest Max, my precious Marilyn, your mother loves you too - with her whole mommy heart. How will I ever bear it when they are grown and gone? I'm dreading those years when my babies are grown and my husby isn't retired yet. I've got a very short career and nothing in this life will ever be as wonderful, as taxing, as fulfilling, and as sweet as RIGHT NOW.

Mini Daddy

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Things Noah doesn't like:

Getting a haircut. "Showing the skin" on his forehead because he has a scar there. Other people noticing him for any particular reason including that he has recently gotten his hair cut or that his hair is shorter and you can now see the scar on his forehead. So, I was really surprised when after dinner last night he became fixated on me buzzing his head because he wanted the exact same hair style as his Daddy. 

I finally figured out that it went back to the overriding theme of his life, "I don't want anyone to notice me for any particular reason" and someone at church has noticed that he was waaaayy past due for having a haircut and said something to him about it. Therefore he had been noticed and now he had to do something about it so no one else noticed.

I like his shaggy hair so I tried to convince him to wait until today when I could take him someplace and just give him a regular haircut but that boy can be persistent when he really wants something! Finally I gave in. I tried to give him a trim but he'd have none of it and just wanted me to buzz it with the clippers. I gave in again.

Now he's my little soldier, at least that is what I prefer to think of him as looking like.

He was all chipper about it this morning adorably proclaiming as Daddy headed out the door for work, "Mom, now when Daddy is gone you'll have a mini Daddy so you won't miss him! I'm Mini Daddy!"

$5 he walks in to school this morning with his hood on.

It's a Buckholts Thing

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Yesterday was my beautiful niece Samantha's birthday party at Lagoon which meant that my sister Heidi made up a bunch of silly games for the kids to play while I got to sit and chat with my parents. After getting the kids out the door, which is almost always a chore, watching them have fun while I got some grown up time with two of my favorite grown ups was just what I needed. My mom and I coincidentally wore our "It's a Buckholts thing (you wouldn't understand)" sweatshirts. I love my family and the more family history research I do on my Buckholts side the more proudly I identify with them.

After the birthday games, cake, and presents we split into a few groups depending on what rides the kids wanted to go on. Max went with the more adventurous group, Marilyn was Grandma's buddy all day, and that meant that Noah and I got some good snuggle time on all of the rides we went on that day. I love that my boy is 10 years old and still loves to snuggle with me.

One of the highlights of the day was getting to be with my Dad, who hasn't always had a pass to Lagoon but this year does. It was fun to watch him go on the Ferris Wheel and the Paratroopers, which has always been his favorite. 

It was a good day with lots of sunshine under a big, blue sky.