Halloween 2016

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Halloween is one of my favorite days to play with my kids. This Halloween Awesome Husby was out of town on a business trip to San Diego so I was all alone with my kids. I'm always lonely when he is gone but this time was a little better because my kids had Halloween off school and I enjoyed being with them all day long. We carved pumpkins, ate Cafe Rio take out for dinner and then went Trick-or-Treating together. 

Carving pumpkins is a lot harder than it looks. It takes a lot of patience and some good fine motor skills; all things my children are developing. Every year that goes by I'm encouraging my kids to be a little more independent. This year I told them they were going to carve their pumpkins on their own as much as possible. I watched as they struggled, did better than they thought they could, adapted, complained, asked for help, gave up, and continued with perseverance. This year they learned that things that are fun aren't always easy. While they worked I fished out pumpkin seeds from the guts to roast later, which are a traditional favorite in our family.

Marilyn had the most perseverance carving pumpkins out of all of my kids. She's got lots of practice with that perseverance stuff. Max even carves his pumpkin like a ninja! I hurried and took this picture during the first two minutes of Noah carving his pumpkin because that's how long it took for him before he said, "to heck with it" and went to find something else to do, and that's OK.

Linda came over every day after school to give me some adult companionship and make and eat dinner together. What a difference it made in my mood! She and Kim helped me clean my house, fold my laundry, and work on gardening projects together. On one of these days he told me a story I didn't remember from growing up; it's interesting how differently we remember things. We lived duplicate lives and yet things that made impressions on her didn't on me and vice versa. When I was 7 or 8 my teacher made us pumpkin seeds and brought them to school to share. For an assignment we had to write a recipe on a card and I wrote the recipe for roasted pumpkin seeds. I'd never had them before and apparently loved them so much that I saved that recipe card for months and gave it to my mom for a present for Mother's Day or something. 39 year old me thought that was really adorable of 7 or 8 year old me! I think I like pumpkin seeds even better now. 

Halloween night the kids and I set out to go Trick-or-Treating. Noah was a cobbled together amalgam of whatever he could find in our costume box and around the house that he thought would be fun. He wore these goggles the whole time that shined blue lights out of them and he covered it up with a black ski mask. He could barely see where he was going and I spent the whole night guiding him around while he held onto my arm. That kid! Marilyn was a very pretty self made version of Raspberry Torte from the cartoon Strawberry Shortcake. Max was a green ninja. I always feel so carefree and childlike with my kids when we Trick-or-Treat together and this night was no different.

No Pictures But A Lot of Words

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My two "olders" and I were alone tonight and I was feeling a bit lonely without Awesome Husby around. Noah was busy playing games on the computer, Marilyn was puttering around doing not much of anything and I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I had an awesome idea that changed our whole night. I don't have any pictures of it to add to this post but I want to create one with my words so that years from now I will remember how sweet it was. 

We've just gotten back into our school routine and that means I'm reading a novel to them aloud in the mornings while they eat their breakfast. Max tolerates this but my older two - they LOVE it. So do I. 

We're reading Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites, which came out when I was 12 and solidly into my Christian only music phase of life so of course I adored that book. My "olders" are enthralled with it too. So tonight when I got lonely and didn't want to put them to bed I made them makeshift beds on the living room floor, turned on our lamp for some ambiance, and I read to them for almost 2 hours. They didn't want me to stop so I just kept going. Until I my voice just couldn't take it anymore and then we went out for ice cream.

Reading is so multifaceted. It's so interactive rather than television's passive. Don't get me wrong; I love a little passive TV binging at the end of the day when I am D.O.N.E. but there is nothing in this world that delights me in the way an author does with their carefully crafted words. Sharing that with my "littles" fulfills and thrills me. Reading aloud to my children brings us all into the story's trance, as if all of our imaginations are magically linked together and we're all seeing the same thing even though there are no pictures. We're not just sitting next to each other. Even from different parts of the room, or even different rooms as it is when I read in the morning when I sit on the stairs so Noah can hear from his bed, Max can hear from his room, and Marilyn can hear from the breakfast table, we are all interacting together. My children love to tell me what they think will happen next or what a certain part makes them think of or wish for. I love to ask them questions to make sure they understand what's happening or, even better, help them think through a social situation they may or may not have faced before. 

This morning a few of the main character's friends were bullying another boy and I stopped to talk with my kids about that. Noah has had a hard time at school and has sometimes been on both sides of the bully situation. Without any prompting and in a way that we haven't ever specifically talked about Noah said about the characters that were bullying, "Maybe they aren't bad kids. Maybe they are just a bunch of kids that feel like they get made fun of a lot." He identified. It made my heart sad but it also opened the door for us to talk in a meaningful way that he will connect with on a deeper level about not fitting in and about bullying.

I LOVE literature. I need it. I appreciate it. I admire it.

And I'm so very grateful to be able to pass that love on to my children. 

Tonight was a very good night.

My Morning's Mental Meanderings

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Last night after my children went to bed I celebrated my freedom and then almost cried. I was busy wiping their dirty hand prints off the walls and I realized that I'm half way through the work I longed and worked for years to have the privilege of doing. These children of mine are halfway raised. Ugh!

Ok. Now I'm not crying, I'm bawling.

There is nothing more in my life I'd rather do than mother. Sometimes I get so exasperated. Sometimes I get so worried. Sometimes I'll admit that I count down the years until they leave my house and are grown but most of the time I really, really love being a mother and all of the time I cherish my opportunity to spend my life serving these little ones. How they fill my heart!

Last night I tucked Noah into bed and he was so very tired that it was all he could do to barely open his lids to check I was there while he snuggled into his blankets. He asked for "fifty kisses", a sweet Noah-made tradition where we gently kiss his cheeks 50 times because one time isn't enough for my affection gobbling son. After the 50 he lifted his heavy eyelids and contentedly asked for "Just 15 more?" and when I told him I would he said with earnest endearment, "I love my Mommy."

My dear Noah, my sweetest Max, my precious Marilyn, your mother loves you too - with her whole mommy heart. How will I ever bear it when they are grown and gone? I'm dreading those years when my babies are grown and my husby isn't retired yet. I've got a very short career and nothing in this life will ever be as wonderful, as taxing, as fulfilling, and as sweet as RIGHT NOW.

You Are Doing Better Than You Think You Are

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Elder Jeffrey R. Holland really got it right when he said last October, "It is..the lifelong carrying that makes mothering such a staggering feat. Most mothers know intuitively, instinctively that this is a sacred trust of the highest order. The weight of that realization, especially on young maternal shoulders, can be very daunting."

I have been very daunted lately. Not only daunted but staggering under the weight of carrying my mothers load throughout the past few days. Sometimes being a mom is fun and filled with moments of laughing and playing with sweet children. Sometimes it's not. 

Yesterday after husby got home from work I crawled into my bed and locked myself in my room. I listened to Elder Holland's recent talk, "Behold Thy Mother" repeatedly until I felt myself lifted and encouraged enough to get out of bed, interact with my children again, and go make dinner. I tightened my heart around those words, "You are doing better than you think you are" and I've been repeating them over and over again in my mind.

Along with that, I've got such an awesome husband. He tells me just what I need to hear. He provides for our family and then comes home and is an active participant in parenting. His number one goal in life, which he puts into action every day, is to make me happy. He supports me. This morning he did that by sending me this picture. He puts effort into making my life lighter. 

Thank you, love.

Yesterday Noah's teacher "invited" me to be Noah's personal escort for the 4th Grade's field trip to the Natural History Museum. I speed walked from exhibit to exhibit with Noah while Linda, a.k.a. Mrs. Witkamp, walked slowly with Marilyn explaining everything she saw in detail. Mothering means doing things in the way that is best for your child, instead of doing it the way you would enjoy, and then trying to enjoy it anyway. The plus side of seeing a museum with Noah is that you get lots of steps on your pedometer and get to see everything really fast and multiple times. The plus side of seeing things with Marilyn is that you get to see most things and really soak them in. Since those are two complete opposite styles and needs I was glad that Linda was there yesterday and that Chris is there most of the other times so we can meet our children's very different needs.

My favorite part of the field trip was the way home on the bus when Noah sat on my lap and snuggled and talked with me the whole way home. It had been a bit of a crazy day and I needed that quiet, loving downtime with him.

Linda is Marilyn's teacher this year so we arranged for for both of us to sit together on the bus with Mar on one side and Noah on the other. It's been so fun to interact with her as a teacher and as my child's teacher this year. She's so incredibly gifted. I love it when people see me in a store and, since I look just like her, end up coming to talk to me about her. I love the chance to hear what a difference she has made in their children's lives and love to chime in and tell them what a fantastic teacher she is. One of the parents of one of her students approached her yesterday while we were at a playground at a park for lunch and I had so much fun agreeing with him that she is an amazing teacher and talking her up to him. She deserves it.

Above: Mrs. Witkamp with her two favorite 4th Graders this year

In 4th Grade they study geology and Utah history and they just put on a program with speaking parts and several songs last week. Marilyn had a speaking part and recited it perfectly at the program. Noah loves the songs and has been singing them in his room and the bathroom when he's all by himself, which I find adorable.