Birthmom Play Date

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The summer has sped by and we needed to do one last fun thing before school started: have a play date with Noah's Birthmom Heather. I love Heather and the role she has in our lives. If everyone adopted and had a wonderful relationship with their child's Birthmom they would know what a "Birthmom" means to me, but since they don't I'll fill you in. She's more than a family friend, almost like a Sister-in-Law, but with a vested interest in and an unconditional love for the child we both adore. We share a sacred, motherly camaraderie. 

We sat together yesterday afternoon and watched her wonderful daughters and my kids play together while we shared stories, watched Noah with adoration, and laughed and laughed together.

I am SO grateful for this wonderful woman and am always in awe of her selflessness and loyalty to the people she loves. Her decision to place Noah's needs above her own and place him in our family is an ongoing act of Christlike love. She is my hero. 

Heather wrote this comment to this blog post and it's so wonderful that I don't want it to get lost so I am copying it here.

 

I would also like to fill you in with what is it like to have a miraculous, marvelous and wonderful relationship with the parents of the child I gave birth to......The relationship is hard for me to put words to but I will try. To be involved in his life is amazing but it is so much more than that. It is also the relationship with Laura and Chris and Marilyn and Max. 
Marilyn and Max mean so much to me, they have such a special place in my heart. 
Chris has surpassed every wish i had for my son, he is the best father anyone could ask for...he loves his family and his children are his light. This is all that I had hoped for. 
Laura, she is more like a sister-in-law. A very close sister in law. We have this amazing relationship, this special bond. 8 years ago I looked in her eyes and put my trust, my heart and my love in her hands and she has done nothing but make me feel more than comfortable with my decision. I could not ask for a better woman to have share this with. I have no doubts she would go to the ends of the earth and back for her children, and I believe she has if and when it is ever needed. Their needs are her mission, to me that is the meaning of mom. 
Like I said it is so hard for me to put all of this into words. I just wish for one second I could share these feelings with someone...I love you guys so much.
Thank you for the wonderful playdate. It is so wonderful to see all of you. I can not wait until next time.

Love,
Heather

"For This Child I Have Prayed"

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"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him:" - 1 Samuel 1:27

 

Hannah and I have so much in common. There are so many times I look at my children and my heart swells with thanksgiving. I wanted to be a mother so very, very much and look at the miraculous ways that God blessed me.

My dreams have come true.

Just look at these pictures of Noah - our first miracle. My house is filled with little boy things now and I love every moment of it. (Well, maybe not the dents in all the walls or that such a mess was made at breakfast this morning that I had to mop the floor before I took them to school...)

I love his shaggy, always messy hair that he doesn't ever want cut. I love how obsessed he is with sports, always wanting to run outside and play catch, basketball, soccer or ride his scooter or bike. I love that his Daddy always wakes him up to tell him how the game on TV ended and that Noah will remember the outcome in the morning because it was important to him. An 8 year old boy is a glorious, messy, WONDERFUL creature and I love mine with my whole mommy heart.

The other day he came in after dinner shirtless, his team jersey hooked to his belt loop, baseball cap on backwards, baseball pants mud and grass-stained all excited about the bug he had caught in a mason jar. The whole moment was so picture perfect that I couldn't contain the joy of motherhood that I felt. 

I let him stay up late that night to do homework with me while the other kids were in bed. We took a break and took his ladybug on a walk around the neighborhood and the whole time I just soaked in the niceness of being close to him. Later I woke him up after putting him to bed to show him a website I found that told all kinds of cool things about "Lady Bettles". Of course Max woke up and was interested too so I had both boys on my lap as we read about them.

I love my children.

(This post has been all about boys, but I certainly LOVE my daughter too. More on how wonderful my mommy moments are with her in a post all it's own soon to come.)

Spring has brought many boy occasions to revel in. Noah is on his first coach pitch baseball team, Max is on a T-Ball team, and Noah and his Daddy participated in our family's first ever Pinewood Derby.

He was so thrilled when he learned that his team would be the Angels. They are his favorite team and we got to go to one of their games together in California.

Noah's car had to be his favorite color green and have his favorite baseball player, Mike Trout's, number on it.

I can't end this post without sharing what Noah's Birthmom, Heather, wrote on Mother's Day. It was incredibly special and I want to always remember it and have it for Noah to read. She posted this on Facebook:

"Before the day is over I want to say a big Happy Mothers Day to one of the most special mothers in my life, Laura. She is the mother of my son. I placed my son in an open adoption 8 years ago. Ever since I have become more and more comfortable with my decision and I owe that to her. She has been the most attentive, loving and caring mother I know. She is everything I prayed for and more. She is the true meaning of mother. A super hero! I love you Laura! Thank you for loving your son."

Thanks Heather! You are one of my heros too.

Happy 8th Birthday to My Dear and Precious Noah

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Dear Noah, 

Yesterday you turned 8 years old and I wore the bright pink shirt I wore when I first met you to help me remember that day. Yes, I still have that shirt and I don't think I'll ever get rid of it. Your birth was sacred to me. Daddy and I were sitting in your birthmother's empty hospital room, staring at the clock and feeling overwhelmed knowing that you were coming into this world during those same moments. You were born by emergency C-section.

Since that moment knowing, loving, and parenting you has healed my heart and filled my empty arms. You give us such joy every day and we love you so much. Nothing makes us happier or more proud than to work with you and help you as you learn and grow. You are such an important part of our family.

I love to snuggle with you, read with you, play with you in the backyard, watch you enjoy sports with Daddy, listen to you imagine, watch you be a good friend to others and your sister and brother, and just be around you every day.

You are precious to me and my heart's desire is that you will feel that and know deep inside that you are important.

I love you, Noah.

Love,

Mommy

 

Yesterday you got to open your birthday presents as soon as we were all awake. Marilyn and Max gave you an authentic Jazz jersey and shorts of your favorite Jazz basketball player, Gordon Hayward. You were so thrilled. Then Daddy and I gave you snow skis and ski boots. You all received snowshoes for Christmas so we have a lot of outdoor fun to have for the rest of this Winter.

You got to choose whatever you wanted me to make you for breakfast and you chose McDonald's. So McDonald's it was and we headed off to one making sure that it had a playland for you all to enjoy by your request. Daddy and I had a wonderful time watching you play so nicely with your brother and sister. You held Marilyn's hand and helped her navigate until she was comfortable on her own. You're such a loving boy.

We met Grandma Buckholts at the Brick Oven for a birthday lunch and had a fun time there.

We spent the afternoon snuggling together and watching some TV during some downtime as you anxiously waited for the most exciting part of the day. Daddy took you on a special outing to see a Jazz game. This is what you wanted this year instead of a birthday party. You sat on the 12th row, got your tickets signed by your favorite player, wore your new jersey, and your team even won at the last second.

Noah said, "This is the best day EVER!"

 

Your birthmom Heather also loves you and wanted you to have a great day. She called to chat with you for a few minutes and sent this note on the computer: "Today my son turns 8! Noah, I can not believe how fast you have grown! It seems like yesterday I was looking into your newborn eyes and dreaming about your future and who you would be. You really have turned into one amazing kid! I love you so much! I am so thankful you have such an amazing family, an awesome brother and sister and the most wonderful parents. I am also thankful for the opportunity I have to continue a relationship with you. I love you so very very much! Happy birthday Noah!!!"

8 Years Later

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Noah playing basketball with his Birthmom Heather

I LOVE adoption and not only because it is through that amazing miracle that I became a mother but because I see first hand what it has done for a child - my child.  

Noah is not exclusively my child though.  Although Chris and I are his only parents, there is another mother out there who loves him more than life itself - his birthmother.  Her choices have effected every moment of every day in his life.  She is the epitome of unselfish, unconditional love. 

Out of the blue today on Facebook she posted this:

"About 8 years ago I found out I was pregnant, I realized it was going to change my life but I don't think i knew just how much. As soon as I made my decision to place him in an open adoption I realized just how amazing it was going to be and all because of the wonderful people (Chris Parker&Laura Parker) who chose to be my baby's parents! I could not have asked for anyone better. Noah has a wonderful family and an amazing life! I just wanted to take a second to thank you guys for being the best parents any birthmom could ever ask for!"

This is why adoption is so wonderful.  Look at all the love Noah is surrounded by. Heather has always done what was best for Noah, putting his needs above her own and isn't that what motherhood is about?  She has always respected our role as his parents AND she undeniably loves him with her whole heart - both at the same time.  She loved him enough to give him the best life she could, even though that meant not being the one to raise him.

THAT is love. 

(Pictures are from when Heather and her family came to visit last March.)